Hey guys, I apologise for the lack of consistency. Me and blogger are not the best of friends right now but yeah here is the next blog. In moments of introspection, I've realised that if you don't know who you its is very easy for others to walk all over you and to take advantage. No matter how strong you fool people you are and no matter how many times you tweet that you're heartless, someone out there will find a way of walking all over you. S ociety, in general, wants us to be nice people. When we’re young, we’re often reminded why it’s a bad idea to be too stingy, too aggressive, too mean, or too arrogant. Unfortunately, society generally doesn’t remind us that being too nice can be just as bad, if not worse, than being mean. As a result, many of us have a hard time saying no when asking for a favour, and even more of us are ashamed to ever consider putting our own needs first. There are number of different ways to ensure you're not mistaken for a door matt. ...
Hey guys, I apologise for the lack of consistency. Me and blogger are not the best of friends right now but yeah here is the next blog.
In moments of introspection, I've realised that if you don't know who you its is very easy for others to walk all over you and to take advantage. No matter how strong you fool people you are and no matter how many times you tweet that you're heartless, someone out there will find a way of walking all over you.
Society, in general, wants us to be nice people. When we’re young, we’re often reminded why it’s a bad idea to be too stingy, too aggressive, too mean, or too arrogant. Unfortunately, society generally doesn’t remind us that being too nice can be just as bad, if not worse, than being mean. As a result, many of us have a hard time saying no when asking for a favour, and even more of us are ashamed to ever consider putting our own needs first. There are number of different ways to ensure you're not mistaken for a door matt.
You teach people how to treat you.
Your response to someone’s behaviour teaches them what is and isn’t acceptable, so if you roll over and take whatever they give, the message is that it’s okay for them to do that. And people will always do what works for them until they have evidence that it doesn’t work, or that there’s a better way. We’re kinda dumb like that. If someone is regularly treating you like a doormat, their behaviour is not okay. Your task is to change you're response to start giving them that message. This does not have to be a big and dramatic showdown; it can be done gently and with the same respect you want. You may be scared but you know what you need to do.
stop being a bottomless pit.
It’s great to do things for other people, unless the act of doing things for other people is how you get validation. Being a people- pleaser might begin with the best intentions, but if you’re not careful, you keep on doing so because you want to see how pleased they are with what you’ve done or even to hear those magic words: “Thank you”. Being a people-pleaser can turn you into a bottomless pit—that not only sees others take advantage of you, but seriously damages your self-esteem.
Apply pressure
If you’re used to people walking all over you, it’s likely that you’re not used to asserting yourself. You might even feel like you’re powerless, but I guarantee you that you have natural confidence that you can apply to start effecting change. natural confidence is being able to trust your behaviour by having implicit faith in your abilities, so when you're doing something, there's no doubt in your abilities to do it- you have full confidence. Applying the same sense of confidence to a new situation is what allows you to operate right at the edge or just out of your comfort zone, and this will feel uncomfortable. That feeling of discomfort isn't the enemy and it doesn't mean you do not have confidence, it just means you're someplace new. Trust yourself to do whats best.
In moments of introspection, I've realised that if you don't know who you its is very easy for others to walk all over you and to take advantage. No matter how strong you fool people you are and no matter how many times you tweet that you're heartless, someone out there will find a way of walking all over you.
Society, in general, wants us to be nice people. When we’re young, we’re often reminded why it’s a bad idea to be too stingy, too aggressive, too mean, or too arrogant. Unfortunately, society generally doesn’t remind us that being too nice can be just as bad, if not worse, than being mean. As a result, many of us have a hard time saying no when asking for a favour, and even more of us are ashamed to ever consider putting our own needs first. There are number of different ways to ensure you're not mistaken for a door matt.
You teach people how to treat you.
Your response to someone’s behaviour teaches them what is and isn’t acceptable, so if you roll over and take whatever they give, the message is that it’s okay for them to do that. And people will always do what works for them until they have evidence that it doesn’t work, or that there’s a better way. We’re kinda dumb like that. If someone is regularly treating you like a doormat, their behaviour is not okay. Your task is to change you're response to start giving them that message. This does not have to be a big and dramatic showdown; it can be done gently and with the same respect you want. You may be scared but you know what you need to do.
It’s great to do things for other people, unless the act of doing things for other people is how you get validation. Being a people- pleaser might begin with the best intentions, but if you’re not careful, you keep on doing so because you want to see how pleased they are with what you’ve done or even to hear those magic words: “Thank you”. Being a people-pleaser can turn you into a bottomless pit—that not only sees others take advantage of you, but seriously damages your self-esteem.
Apply pressure
If you’re used to people walking all over you, it’s likely that you’re not used to asserting yourself. You might even feel like you’re powerless, but I guarantee you that you have natural confidence that you can apply to start effecting change. natural confidence is being able to trust your behaviour by having implicit faith in your abilities, so when you're doing something, there's no doubt in your abilities to do it- you have full confidence. Applying the same sense of confidence to a new situation is what allows you to operate right at the edge or just out of your comfort zone, and this will feel uncomfortable. That feeling of discomfort isn't the enemy and it doesn't mean you do not have confidence, it just means you're someplace new. Trust yourself to do whats best.
SO GUYS, TAKE WHAT I'M SAYING SERIOUSLY. STOP SEEKING VALIDATION FROM PEOPLE THROUGH FAVOURS, STOP ALLOWING PEOPLE TO TAKE YOU FOR AN IDIOT AND LEARN HOW TO PATTERN PEOPLE WHO DISRESPECT YOU AND MOST OF ALL LEARN HOW TO SAY NO!!
UNTIL NEXT TIME MY LOVES :)
talkswithaxxhxo x
UNTIL NEXT TIME MY LOVES :)
talkswithaxxhxo x
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